


The Last Summer Of Our Lives As We Knew Them

by CooperNox (CooperMox)



Series: Love and War [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F, First Love, Flashback, Heavy Angst, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Road Trip, Sibling Bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-28
Updated: 2015-09-28
Packaged: 2018-03-26 05:41:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3839179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CooperMox/pseuds/CooperNox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anya takes her younger siblings on a cross country road trip and nothing will ever be the same.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It was hot and dry and still, and Anya hated it. She'd become used to the open ocean and sea air and strong winds tugging her hair and clothes. But despite the environment being less than ideal, Anya was having the time of her life. She'd taken a month of leave to take her younger siblings on a road trip to follow a tour across the desert. New Mexico was probably her least favorite place, but Lincoln and Lexa were thrilled, and the three of them were together again, which happened so rarely these days, so she couldn't complain too much. 

They'd set their camp up among about thirty other trucks and campers making the same tour, the closest ones one either side had become friends of theirs the first night in Texas and had agreed to share their space and camp fire with the three siblings. Lincoln was napping in the bed of one of the trucks, arranged in a semicircle around the fire pit, and Lexa had run off somewhere as usual.

 _'Probably chasing after that girl'_ Anya smiled as she took a drag of her clove cigar, a rare indulgence when she was away from the navy, and her father. She'd bought a case of them for this trip knowing that she'd likely only get to smoke half of them. The mysterious disappearance of a pack every few days was one of her little sister's less endearing habits, but she'd promised herself that she wouldn't interfere with Lexa's life, as she got enough of that from their father. _'She's only following my example.'_ She told herself. But as long as the girl wasn't in any real danger or serious trouble, Anya wouldn't try to stop her. Lexa was the kind of wild that Anya hadn't gotten to be. Sure she'd gone through a rebellious goth/punk phase after the divorce, but she was still the oldest and she would always have her baby sister looking up to her. Any rebellion Anya tried was minor and very usually ended swiftly by their father. So Anya let Lexa do as she pleased and kept her out of much trouble as she could.  
Anya lounged in the front seat of her truck, seat leaned back, with her feet propped on the rolled down window of the open door, enjoying the quiet and trying to find a breeze. She took another drag and watched the smoke sit in a cloud above her head, no breeze to be found.  
A light touch on her bare feet made her jump and suddenly Lexa was there, grinning at being able to successfully frighten her sister.

"Gotcha! Daydreaming again?" Lexa teased, snatching the cig from her sister's long fingers.  
"Lexa!" Anya exclaimed as the teenager took a long drag, already exasperated with her antics.  
"What, you want it back?"  
Anya sat up and held up three fingers. Lexa braced for a lecture.  
"First, Big Sister Code requires me to tell you that you shouldn't smoke. Second, I know you've been taking my extra packs, so don't steal the one I'm smoking! And third, where's your lady love?"  
Lexa glared at her.  
"Big Sister Code is null and void in case of hypocrites. And would you keep it down! She's not my 'lady love' you ass. She's a friend. Who has amazing boobs. And is too dazzlingly beautiful to look at in direct sunlight because I'LL PROBABLY GO BLIND!!! Oh my god, Anya what do I dooooo?" her defence collapsed quickly as she thought about Costia again.  
Anya just laughed, snatching the cigar away from her now flailing sister.  
"There's three weeks left of this tour, I'm sure one of you will man up and just get it over with sooner or later."  
"That's not helpful." Lexa plopped down on the cooler beside the truck's door, looking back over her shoulder at Anya.  
"Ask Lincoln? I have no experience with girls." Anya suggested.  
"Me hate you long time." Lexa muttered "You know I can't do that! It's Lincoln, he'll make fun of me for the rest of my life. He doesn't need to know. Besides it's just her. I think. I'm not really gay, I mean right?"  
"Oh kiddo, I don't know what to tell ya. Be whatever you want to be. And Lincoln is too obsessed with the motorcycle guys to even think about who you like or what gender they are. He thinks he's gonna be so cool, going to art school on some giant Harley, make fun of him right back. " Anya rolled her eyes.  
"Yeah, Mother's not getting him a motorcycle for his birthday. Not a chance in hell."  
"Nope. Let him dream though. How do you know she has amazing boobs?" 

Anya's specialty was distracting Lexa and catching her off guard. It never failed, this was no exception. Lexa blinked, looked horrified then tried to stutter out an explanation that didn't incriminate herself.  
"You know, just from... looking? With clothes on! There was no touching! We didn't do anything!"  
"Right." Anya looked at her with an accusatory stare, knowing she was hiding something, she was so transparent Anya could read her like a book. "What did you do?"  
"I wasn't even lying!" Lexa whined.  
"But you're leaving out details." Her sister prompted.  
"We went into town for lunch with some of the guys and then we were just walking around and there was this... Place. And we, uh, gotournipplespierced." She rushed the end of her sentence hoping her sister would be satisfied that she got an answer and not have actually understood what it was.

Anya blinked, blinked again then held up a finger while she took the last pull from the cigar and tossed it away. Lexa fidgeted, waiting for the inevitable scolding she was sure to get.  
"Father will kill you. And me for letting it happen. How did you even get that done? You're fourteen." Lexa did not expect Anya's deadpan or her to only care how she'd pulled it off.  
"One of the old guys from the road warrior signed off as our dad." Lexa grinned, feeling proud of the deception. Her face soured quickly as the rest of Anya's sentence put itself together in her head. "Father will never find out. If Father ever sees my nipples I'll kill him first. Gross!"  
She shook her head violently to try to remove the thought, succeeding only in dislodging her hair from its braid. Bright red and black curls worked their way loose of the now unsecured twists to fall around her thin shoulders. 

A sharp catcall whistle cut through the air.  
"Hey hot stuff!" Lexa turned bright red matching her dyed tresses as the girl approached, leaning her dirt bike against fender of the truck.  
"Uh huh." Anya muttered. Lexa punched her arm.  
Costia pretended not to notice and slung her arm over Lexa's shoulder, messing with a few wayward curls.  
"Did your uncle lose his shit?"  
"Yeah... I'm either going to have to take the dirt bike all the way home, or find a ride for the rest of the tour.... Totally worth it though! How bad ass are we?!" Costia shook her 'friend' in excitement and Lexa sent the biggest pair of puppy dog eyes in Anya's direction, begging her to offer to bring Costia with them. Anya sighed reminding herself that she'd be going away when they got home and Lexa would have to stay at their father's house instead of hers and the girl would be miserable.  
"Well, if you don't mind being crammed in the back of the cab with this punk, you're welcome to ride with us." She offered, knowing Costia would not object to close quarters with Lexa for the next three weeks.  
"Yes!" Both girls squealed in excitement.  
"I'll go get my stuff, before Uncle Asshat throws it into someone's fire pit." Costia bounced off happily. A few steps away she backtracked, pivoting on one heel and running back to give Lexa a quick kiss on the cheek, just narrowly missing the corner of her mouth. She was gone again, pulling her bike up and kicking it into gear, before Lexa could even blink, which was all she was capable of for the next few minutes. Anya waited until the engine sound was across the camp before she let herself laugh, having to hold her side as she bent double cracking up at her sister's sudden paralysis. 

"You have zero game Lexi. And yet, somehow, that girl is super into you. Are you going to be frozen like that for the rest of the trip?" Anya poked at her sister's shoulder, then ear, then her nose, before she snapped back to reality.  
"Like what?!"  
"Damn, I kinda liked you stuck in a stupor... so much less obnoxious." Anya laughed and moved to rebraid her sister's wild mane, effectively moving out of punching range.  
"I still hate you." Lexa muttered, assuming a stillness that she'd acquired over years of Anya compulsively braiding her hair.  
"Lies. And no shenanigans in the back of the truck ok? I sleep in the cab, I will know, and I really don't want to." Lexa looked wistful at the thought that she'd get to share her sleeping place in the bed of the truck with Costia for three weeks. When Anya released her hair, tugging her work gently to signal she was finished, Lexa turned and mustered as much sweetness as she could.  
"Shenanigans? Me?" She grinned at her sisters returning glare.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> busted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> long time coming, sorry about that. I couldn't decide if it needed more.

"The band is starting" Costia mumbled into the gathering dusk, hearing the whine of guitars coming from the festival stage across camp.  
"Good. Lincoln and Anya will be there." Lexa rolled over next to her, swinging an arm over the other girl and snuggling closer in the back of the truck. Costia laughed trying to shrug Lexa off and crawl out from under their blankets. Lexa just pouted as she lost her grip.  
"We're here for the music X." Costia yanked the blanket back and slung it over the side of the truck bed. Lexa shivered in the sudden dessert chil, reaching behind her for her shirt.  
"Besides, they've been gone all day, and we've had plenty of our own fun already." She leaned forward and tapped a quick kiss to Lexa's lips, not waiting for her to react before she pulled back.   
"Are you sick of me already?" Lexa pulled herself up, hugging her knees with one arm, casting around for her pants with the other. Her tone was sarcastic but her face showed real concern.   
"Of course not beautiful. I just want to dance. I'm never going to get a trip like this again, ever. I have to go back north with my parents after this, and they'll probably ship me to boarding school and I will never have any fun ever again. Come dance with me?" Costia cupped Lexa's cheek and shook her head, refusing to think about anything but the moment.   
"Only because you asked nicely for once." Lexa muttered, shifting to pull her pants up.   
"You know you love it when I boss you around" it was true. Costia had learned very quickly that Lexa would do anything she said if she said it right, and not because she was afraid or felt bullied, but because it was a huge turn on for her. She had also learned that if she used that tone too often that Lexa's compliance would break and they would be pressed together against the nearest hard surface in seconds, an outcome that she started planning for after the first few times it happened without warning.   
"A fact you abuse way too much."  
"Are you really going to complain? That fact got you laid for the better part of the afternoon if I recall."   
"I'm not complaining about that. But you have got to stop doing it while we're driving! Lincoln is an idiot, but he'll catch on eventually."  
"Well if someone had some self control..."   
Lexa tackled Costia back onto the mattress giggling at her shocked expression.   
"I'm pretty sure my lack of self control got you laid for the better part of the afternoon." She mocked, nipping at her captive's ear before standing and pulling her to her feet.   
A heavy sigh from the darkness around the cab made them both jump, Lexa squeeking slightly as she gripped Costia's hand tighter.  
"So that's what you two have been doing all day." Anya stepped closer her voice was peppered with amusement, presumedly from her successful scare tactic.   
"Please tell me it's out of your systems? I do not want to have to beg someone to sleep in their camper. Again."   
Lexa looked horrified, recounting the times Anya could have possibly been disturbed by them in the two weeks, they'd been fairly careful. Costia just grinned and hopped down from the truck, reaching back over the edge to grab her pants, pulling them over her boxer shorts. She tapped her foot impatiently waiting for Lexa to come back from her shock induced coma.   
"I'll catch up Tia, go get us a spot up front." She shook herself and joined the other two women on the ground. Costia looked between the two sisters and shrugged, leaving Lexa with a small kiss on the cheek. When she'd disappeared into the darkness Anya offered Lexa a cigarette and sat down on the running board of the truck.   
"I didn't know you were in the truck!" Lexa blurted as she took the offering, keeping it between her fingers as she was still too stunned to put it to her mouth.   
"I wasn't. But I couldn't exactly get in without, disturbing you. I wasn't going to ruin your first time kiddo." Anya sighed. The younger girls had made it two nights before hormones got the better of them and Anya had returned to the truck to sleep to the distinct sounds of clumsy teenagers undressing each other while trying to be quiet. While her first instinct had been to stop them, to preserve her sister's innocence, she had walked away, dragging Lincoln's unpitched tent off away from the truck so he wouldn't walk in on them.   
Lexa slumped against the car and sighed, finally bringing her unlit cigarette to her lips. Anya offered her a lighter and waited for her to exhale before expecting her response.  
"Is this congratulatory, or like a last meal sort of thing? You never actually offer to let me smoke." She was resigned to her fate, sure her sister would decide to split them up, and leave Costia to find another ride for the remaining week of the trip.  
"It's a 'lets talk like adults' offering?" Anya laughed slightly, not really wanting to have this talk with her baby sister just yet, but it was obviously time.   
"Oh boy."   
"I just want you to be careful Lexi, did you even talk about safety? Diseases?"   
"Anya!" Lexa kicked at her sister's shin. The result was the opposite of her intent as she was still barefooted and bone on bone was not a good feeling. Anya only lowered an eyebrow at her, urging her to grow up, if only for this conversation. Lexa sighed again.  
"She's only been with two other people. She's clean as far as she can tell... She hasn't gotten tested because her uncle would have sent her away if he knew, not that it matters now because he already did." She hung her head, not wanting to think of Costia being sent to a boarding school because of her.  
"I'll make you an appointment when we get home. But thank you for at least talking about it with her. I'm proud of you."   
Lexa slid down the smooth aluminum siding of the truck to crouch next to her sister and rest her head on her shoulder.   
"Thanks. For not being mad. And all the other things."   
"What are sisters for? I'm not mother and Father, I'm not going to stop you from making your own mistakes" Lexa straightened, offended at the suggestion that she'd made a mistake.  
"That's not what I meant." Anya rolled her eyes. " I just meant that it's my job to make sure you're safe and ok and happy, not to make your decisions for you. Im not going to judge what is or isn't a mistake for you either. That's going to be up to you to decide. And I'm not just talking about Costia. She's wild, but I think she's one of the good ones." Lexa pulled her lips into a tired smile, the weight of Anya's seriousness weighing her down. "The nipple piercings on the other hand, I might make a slight judgement on that." Anya teased but stopped laughing as Lexa hung her head again. "What?" Suddenly concerned at not receiving the typical indignant response her wild child sister should have thrown at her.  
"They're infected..." She muttered. Anya had to bite back a laugh.  
"Oh Lex, what am I going to do with you?" She ruffled Lexa's already messy hair. "We'll pick up sea salt and cotton balls in the next town tomorrow. But if they get too bad, take them out ok? Don't let it get systemic."   
"Yes sir!" Lexa snapped a snarky salute, her tolerance for mature conversation at its end. Anya slapped the hand down, scowling.  
"Go find your girlfriend, brat."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part three coming soon.   
> Warning: there is not a happy ending. (in this particular arc)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the end of this one. It's really sad and upsetting, so I'm sorry. But if you've read any of the 'present day' stories, you knew that. :/

"This isn't fair." Lexa gripped tightly to Costia's waist, the shorter girl returning the embrace just as enthusiastically.  
"I know. I'd run away with you, but I don't want to get Anya in trouble and you can't leave her."  
"I could. We could just hitch out to San Francisco and find your sister-"  
"Brother, X. He's my brother now."  
"Sorry. I know, I'm stupid." Lexa scrunched her nose and stared at the floor, stepping away to shove her hands deep into her pockets.  
"Quit, Lexa. You're not stupid. I want to, you know I do. You and me and Connor, kickin ass and takin names all over the coast? There's nothing I want to do more. But you know we can't. It's our first year of high school, we have to finish that at least, so we have a chance."  
"Did Anya tell you to say that?"  
"She's convincing." It was Tia's turn to stare at her shoes. Lexa laughed slightly, picturing the scene that must have happened while she showered that morning at the hotel.  
"It's not fair." Lexa murmured again, taking in the sight of her girlfriend for the last time in the foreseeable future. Dark gold eyes held green ones and the bustle of the airport around them faded away. Boarding calls and security announcements were lost and all that mattered were these last few seconds. 

"Here." Tia picked at the strings and trinkets around her wrist, finding one that held a small gold gear and breaking it off to press into Lexa's palm.  
"I pulled that out of my dad's fancy grandfather clock when Connor ran away. He was more pissed about the clock not working than Connor, the ass. Hold on to it for me ok? It's important to me, so you know I'll be back for it. You can give it back when we see each other again, ok? And we'll run away and be together after graduation."  
Lexa nodded, chewing in her lip to keep from sobbing and Costia found a small braid in the wild mess of her girlfriend's hair to tie the trinket to.  
"There." She stated proudly when she had finished.  
"You promise you'll be back for it?" Lexa asked, knowing she sounded childish and scared. She didn't care, this was hard.  
"Of course I will. But mostly for you." Costia pressed a kiss to her lips for a second.  
"But you're going to boarding school. An all girls boarding school."  
"X, I love you. No matter what. Even if there's hundreds of other pretty girls around, I love you. Got it?" Tia scowled slightly, tugging at the braid she still held over Lexa's shoulder to bring her back to the fact.  
"Do you believe me?"  
Lexa took a deep breath and pulled her close again, nodding against her shoulder.  
"I love you too Tia."

-

Three sharp knocks rang through the house and Lexa bounded down the stairs to answer the door. Tia said she'd sent her birthday present early, so every knick could be a wonderful surprise. This was not the case. Her father had beat her to the door and was shaking his head vehemently at the four sailors on the opposite side of the threshold.  
"Father? Whats-"  
"Alexandria, go back upstairs!" It was his officer voice, the one that told her to not question anything and do as she was ordered.  
"Yes sir." She muttered with a scowl. She couldn't wait until Anya's tour was over and she could go back to the base in Texas with her. Anya wasn't high ranking enough to be bothered at home by uniforms. Though, she couldn't remember her father ever receiving visitors like this before. She hazarded a glance back down the stairs as she headed back to her room. 

"My condolences Captain. She was a wonderful sailor, I just wish there was-"  
"Save it Commander."  
_"No."_  
Lexa bolted. The last three stairs completely forgotten as she leapt back to her father's side, staring in horror at the scene she was now able to take it.  
The Commander, a man she recognized from Anya's base, under his gold trimmed hat, held a tightly folded flag. The officer behind him carried Anya's bunk bag, her personal effects. 

_Anya was dead. Her sister was never coming home. Never taking her away from her cold and unfeeling father. She would never be there to treat her like her own person, never take her to shows and tell her she was going to be a rock star. Never. Anya was gone._

_Lexa was alone._

"NO! Anya!!!" She flung herself at the Commander, beating his chest with her fists. Her vision was red, a thick fog of pain and rage and denial seeping into her as she drove her fists into the man's chest, bruising knuckles on pins and metals and not feeling a thing.  
"You're wrong! She's coming home! She wouldn't leave me here!"  
"Lexa!" Her father reached for her but she spun on him, burning rage boiling the tears away.  
"It's your fault! She just wanted to impress you!" Her voice was becoming hoarse and cracked as she turned her attack to him.  
"Lexa! Enough of this!"  
"Sir, if I may?" The Commander she had beaten passed the flag to one of the petty officers beside him.

"Lexa? Hey, we've met before right? Anya introduced us at the ship, remember?" He was holding her wrists now to stop her assaults, but speaking calmly, as if they had just bumped into each other at the grocery store.  
"She talked about you a lot, said you were going to be a rock star someday and we'd all be asking her for your autograph and playing your songs in the mess. I told your dad she was a good sailor, but she was a good friend too. And I bet she was the very best big sister." Lexa slumped in his grip, eyes flooding with tears again as the rage passed and she felt the weight of the truth settle over her. She nodded weakly.  
"She had this with her when- she kept it in her chest pocket, right here." He released his grip on the girls now limp arms and pulled a small box out of a pouch on his belt and removed a silver chain, tapping gently on Lexa's chest above her heart to explain before fixing the chain around her neck.  
"She'd want you to keep it safe for her I think." He pressed the box into her hand, curling her fingers around it before letting her go once again.  
"You're a lot like her, Lexa. She'd be proud of that, you should be too." 

-

~We buried Anya today.  
She's gone Tia. I don't know what to do now. I can't feel anything. I can't be here without her. She's never coming home and I'm never going to see her again. When she shipped out, I went to the port and waved. I told her I had to cuz I might not see her again. I thought it was a joke. She isn't supposed to be dead. I shouldn't have said it. I know you'll hate me now for what I've done, but I don't have a choice. I loved you, Costia, you know I did. But I can't feel anymore. I can't love you. I can't even love me. I found all my father's pills and his secret stash of booze. It should kick in soon. It's the only way I'll see her again. I'm sorry. ~

_Send_


End file.
